Well, that was a rough weekend.
Suddenly, Friday morning, the forecast changed, with the shocking news of Anthony Bourdain's death. It rained here on and off, dramatically, with dark clouds and sudden winds and downpours alternating with mist rising off the grass in sunshine. Moody AF.
The photo, of HHDL warmly connecting with a smiling Tibetan girl in the traditional dress, also happened this weekend. His Holiness continues, for decades now, to walk in grace and simplicity, beaming love and joy, while unflaggingly doing tremendous work on multiple levels and platforms to alleviate the horrific suffering, persecution and imprisonment of his people, and all people. He both smiles and prays, acts and advises, holds space and moves forward, works for Tibet and reaches out to everyone everywhere, and does not give in to fear or anger. He is alive on this planet at this time, showing us how we can be also, and that's very fortunate for humanity. He also openly cries at atrocities and massacres and so on. He is human and feels what he feels.
Here on the island, there were lovely things to do: free concerts, the annual sheepdog classic, a cozy dinner at friends up the lane. While I did manage to stroll up the lane Saturday night to the neighbors' invitation, I found myself unable to pretend to be present and happy enough to go out Friday night. By then, my suicide PTSD had been fully triggered and I was too sad to pretend to be happy.
I have close personal experience with it, let's just leave it at that. The after effects linger in the soma, in the psyche (the body and the mind), part of the shadow self, part of the unknowable. As Anderson Cooper said, in reference to his own personal experience, it never goes away. Only when something happens that vibrates that certain frequency does an unstoppable triggering occur, and Anthony Bourdain's strong presence and steadying voice of humanity extinguished by the unknowable anguish was that something. Being a wounded healer is useful, a timeless archetype.
I realized this wasn't the time for me to put on the happy face and mingle, and cheer on the fine local musicians giving a free show at an awesome venue, even though I'd really wanted to go. As my feelings surfaced, I realized this was an opportunity to feel what I felt as a being of deep sentient awareness and empathic responses, who clearly had more grieving and releasing of still-held emotions to undergo on a personal level. I could feel my shadow side relaxing, grateful that I was going to give it room, sacred space, privacy, and support, to express and come into the light, instead of sending it back down to the basement, on the logic of needing to keep it together, cheer up, carry on, and be there for what others were doing.
I am fortunate to be able to simultaneously feel strong palpable shifts and surfacing emotional body memories and responses while also observing the phenomena—as all inherent phenomena—as empty, like the clouds and rain and mist and sun passing through. I remind myself to be nowhere (now+here). The weather metaphor was a gift for me to observe, and made it less sad to be pretty much glued to the couch while it went through its changes.
As I felt what I felt, I wasn't angsting over why, or how could he, or oh how it must have been... My shamanic teacher taught me, in the advanced trainings for working with other people and the souls of the dead, that we never know, or presume to know, what someone's soul path is, or why they may be suddenly called away from this reality, for any reason. It is not part of the work, of our jobs as practitioners. And it is a mystery we do not have sufficient information from this perspective to fully understand. Even in deathwalking a departed soul, the shaman does not ask for explanation.
To project speculations onto a soul journeying on, a journey of some duration, peril, and multiple variables that requires as much clear light support and protection as has been accumulated through merit, is—like paroxysms of fear or grasping for the situation—unhelpful to the soul's well-being and journey onward. To put it simply, they have enough to deal with, and particularly in the case of suicide. The departed needs as much peace as possible. We all do. Peace, love, and understanding, as always. Understanding we can't understand but we can amp up the love is also called compassion. As Dr. Seuss might say, my compassion grew three sizes bigger this weekend, for everyone, including Mr. Bourdain, my dearly departed, and myself.
So, I let the weather move through, aware that some deeper levels of grief had been allowed to surface, and some deeper levels of timeless love expressed through the united outpouring of the physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual subtle bodies. I was gifted with the lightening of my body-held trauma, and felt another layer of equanimity arise, which helps quiet the bewilderment.
I also created a pop-up altar in the workroom, as seen on my Instagram, let the smoke rise and the candle burn, and said the Hero Releasing from Fright invocation that is helpful to those journeying on, and those remaining. The ancient prayer, written by the 1st Panchem Lama of Tibet, who lived 1385-1438, contains the title of my poetry collection, Into the All Empty, itself a treatise and artifact of loss through the shattering act. I can practice for the souls involved, while also feeling what I feel. And knowing the emptiness in the Oneness.
As we steer our little boats—our little dish of sticks and skin, as I wrote in one of the poems—through the murderous churn, it is miraculous that we exist at all. The beauty of the butterflies, gliding through the brief sunny patches of the weekend, the birdsong, the two bucks grazing their way around this place were they too exist, all the beauty of nature I live for, continues, while elsewhere children are being taken away in trains to lie in cages, and their parents are being told they will never see them again. A rough weekend to have to hear about it, and rougher—much rougher, inconceivably rougher—for them to endure. A big fat no to suffering and cruelty, for anyone, anywhere, anytime. I created a strong intent that each one, parent and child, be surrounded by their guides and helpers, calling all angels, and to those seriously messing up their future lives by being a participant in the severing and incarceration and ill-treatment, that their hearts and minds might open. All this of course while we stop this through law, through congress, through the courts, through activism, through editorial outcry, through everything we've got.
Stanza 13 of Hero Releasing from Fright:
May we be set in one-pointed profound meditation
In the exalted wisdom of joined innate bliss and emptiness
During the four empties upon the melting of the moon-like white constituent
By the fire of the lightning-like Powerful Female.
Rising above fear is the gig, kindness is the path, freedom is the goal. To balance, the lojong slogan advises: abandon all hope of fruition. But not out of desperation. Out of the wisdom that, as stanza 15 says:
If, due to karma, an intermediate state is established,
May erroneous appearances be purified
Through immediately analyzing and realizing the
absence of inherent existence
Of the sufferings of birth, death, and intermediate state.
All through the weekend, there was beauty, and goodness, and light, alongside the sorrow and shock of this beautiful human being's death and just plain awful news of inhuman treatment and shattering policies by madmen set on global destruction. There was a horse who ran so fluidly and gracefully it simply galloped around three race tracks with thousands of humans screaming at him, and a 52-year-old jockey crouched over him, because it feels good to run flat out.
There was the Dalai Lama reaching out to a beautiful Tibetan girl in traditional dress, both alive and smiling and openhearted despite more than half a century of both being punishable by death. Photos on the feed of friends enjoying this beautiful world, traveling around, and friends living here and there posting about their lives, their work, their kids, their blooming flowers, their cats and dogs. The Parkland graduates singing Season of Love at the Tony's, and Robert DeNiro posing in real tough guy stance, fists raised, giving a hearty Fuck You to You-Know-Who, and getting an unanimous standing ovation, seen around the world.
Stay strong my friends.
Today is a new day. The sun is out, and I'm going on a little ramble over to Maury, to pet a friend's cat while they're away, to pick peonies no doubt drooping from the rains, to gaze at the mountain and send the prayers and wishes, to breathe in and out and move my limbs and be alive.
I welcome, intend, and invite health, wealth, truth and grace to surround me, so I can do my work, walk my talk, and be of service to anyone wishing to rise and fly, to have support for shadow work, to help the departed across the river, to discharge the binding links of past hurt, to receive guidance on present and future matters, and to release from fright, like a real hero.
Gloriosity is a word I made up—a neologism if you like—as a collective noun for when there's a bazillion robins on the lawn. A gloriosity of robins. I use it today because today is a gloriosity: just sitting here listening to the birds, looking at the blue sky, feeling the perfect breezes on my skin, enjoying all the plants flowering, the first butterfly drifting over the garden, trees leafed out again, it is all glorious. Tigs and I just lounging, being still, enjoying the quiet life feels glorious.
Practicing stillness for awhile now has really shifted my ability to be in the gloriosity with little provocation—and on a Monday no less! Tuning in to the oneness is easy when it's all around, singing its song of beauty, truth and wonder. Good old John Keats famously wrote the lines Beauty is truth, truth beauty,—that is all / Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know. He had an exceptional ability to tune into the oneness, which he called negative capability. He'd just hang out by a tree, a bird, an urn, and let his edges blur until he became the tree, bird, urn. It's a merging thing.
Thing is, when you allow yourself to do that, you can rest in the nature of alaya. That's a lojong slogan I invoke more and more these days. Alaya means the essence. These trees, these leaves moving in the light breeze, these birds singing in the forest, all are resting in their true nature, their essence. They do it 24/7. No one told them not to. Hanging out with them makes it so easy to let go of ordinary consciousness and let my edges blur into oneness.
What does that do, you wonder? It looks like nothing, like doing nothing, which in some circles is thought of as wasting time. Like sitting zazen, it's not a spectator sport, but it is spectacular in what it does. I'd go so far as to say being is the new doing. Although it isn't new at all.
Shamans and wise women and sages and all sorts have been quietly being, focusing intent, connected to the oneness, rapt in the jiva—a line from an old poem I'm gonna re-use, starting now—as long as humans have walked this little blue planet. What it does in utilitarian terms is invisible but palpable, both within the individual and in the fields surrounding them. Like these two dogwoods, blooming before me. They are beaming out their essence and it is glorious. I'm sitting here resting in their essence and we are resonating together. If I did have any concerns, I don't now.
A week ago, ten women practiced this at our afternoon retreat, and were so naturally calm and connected that two horses who lived in the pasture we were in felt enough at ease to both lie down together—something their owner brought to our attention as rare indeed.
If you are in a cycle of hurrying and worrying, it can be tough to drop all that even for a few minutes, being out of practice. These beautiful warm spring days offer a super boost because they're just so damn fine.
Leave the litany of sorrows and outrages on the feed that ping your pain body, and wander outside for a playdate with truth and beauty. That is all ye need to know on earth.
The sun is shining, the trees are flowering, the birds are singing, and the field of infinite possibilities is, as always, ready for anything we imagine. Happy Friday!
Every day is play day for me, because I love my work and where I live. Looking at clouds, like the cloud augury I did yesterday by just walking out my door and looking up, to see this awesomeness (and it was the only cloud in the sky), tells me what I need to know. (So does leaf gazing, water watching, raptor time...)
In this case, I read this augury as Rise and Fly! A magical reminder that each second I am the director of my energy, my thoughts, my vibration resonance, my sentient awareness, and what I'm radiating out in exchange with the Oneness. On beautiful Spring days, it's so natural to be happy, enthused, inspired by the beauty all around, and lighthearted about life.
On another frequency altogether, things are falling apart, the news is dire, and everybody's pissed at each other. In these times of duality on steroids, it's up to us individually to notice what frequency we're humming in resonance with, and tune ourselves into the vibe we truly want. It's easy to get pinged by other frequencies, and tractor beamed into the negs. Resist in a frictionless fashion by rising and flying above the fray.
In the higher octave range, all that sturm and drang cannot exist. Fear, anger, frustration, blame, anxiety, and the way the little brain becomes fixated on problems it cannot solve and turns against itself and/or others: left behind to evaporate, as deep connection with the Oneness is activated instead, by simply being and claiming and choosing it in the now. Be nowhere! now+here, simply be. Fearlessness achieved.
Like that cloud, that of course continued moving and changing shape, and transforming into nothingness, here we go. Moving out into the sunshine, into the day, moving through the universe as myriad worlds arise and shapeshift. Be the light, and will that there be light, and you lighten everything up. You, we, I can and do create the world as we dream it. Loving this beautiful world, and the Oneness, as things come and go, dream up a beautiful day in which you rise and fly.
Hey, it's the last weekend in January already! It's blustery and gray here on the island, and I have the whole weekend to do nothing and see what arises. Awesome! I unplugged the router early last night and slept and dreamt for a long time.
Sleeping more is important when you're practicing multidimensional being. You may have been raised to think sleeping late was lazy or lethargic or avoiding 'reality' — but neuroscience disagrees. It's restorative to body, mind, and spirit, and literally repair time for your cells and even for clearing what's stored in your brain. There's a little video on all that here.
So, as I watch the cedars sway in the wind, I came across an article (click that if you don't want to read all my blather) that pinged my attention for this blog post.
Now that my retreat on 5D thinking and practices has happened, and I'm doing those practices for my own vibrational transformation, I know once more that What you teach you learn. 5D thinking (simply saying, thinking and doing what you want to be) gets easier and easier, simply because you are noticing what you're thinking, and how you're feeling. Noticing where our brains go is, of course, the foundation of meditation, but you can do it anytime, anywhere. And gently bring your mind back to right here, right now, there is nothing to do but simply be. Rest in the nature of alaya, as the Lojong slogans advise.
At night, in bed, I find, practice is particularly helpful, because the personal mind loves to keep on its little self-appointed tasks of thinking about the past, pondering answers to trivia, updating the to-do list, fretting about future unknowns, and keeping busy with all sorts of stuff. Like, just because I watched an episode of Grace & Frankie recently with references to The Music Man (and every single musical from my childhood stuck in my head), my 'little brain' nightly brings up the trivia question, Who played Harold Hill in the film version? (while singing 76 Trombones and trying to remember all the lyrics) when I am actually wanting to stop thinking and shift into lucid dreaming consciousness. Busy little brain. Does yours do this stuff?
I noticed I'd habitually take the bait and start trying to recall the actor, even wanting to get up and plug in the router and actually google it, to get the answer so I could go to sleep. Talk about a hook! Along with a million other 'little brain' prompts and queries and reruns. But now that I'm noticing whenever I slide off just being now+here, I catch my little brain in its tricks. Nice hook, little brain. But I'm not playing. Now it is time to rest. Rest now. Be nowhere. Be now+here.
I notice also the little beefs and grudges and sleights or pseudo-sleights and outrages it loves to revive as hooks to my attention. Little brain knows that usually gets my energy going. I've been noticing when I go negative—about myself or anything else—as another practice. It's habitual, whether in conversation, in what we respond to while scrolling the Book of Faces, looking in the mirror, reviewing our past and its ubiquitous faux pas, explaining why things are the way they are, or all of the above.
I noticed I went negative more than I wanted to as a sort of habitual brain chatter mechanism. These days of the daily nightmare, you can go negative 24/7 and feel it's necessary for the salvation of the planet, but, um, actually that is not so. I'd venture to say that is part of the nefarious agenda, to get us to go negative more.
We perceive energy, and as we perceive and believe, so it seems. As one shaman said, the world is as we dream it. To transform our habitual negative perceptions of ourselves, others, and the [fate of the] planet we ride, we simply need to notice what's happening now, and use intent to choose where we direct our energy in the moment. This includes practicing self-awareness and noticing where our beliefs disempower us. We have trouble believing in our own power! We're much more indentured in why we can't have power, why mean people can take it, why someone may have put some whammy on us long ago that's still holding us back, etc. etc.
And, as a shamanic practitioner, I do work with retrieving lost and stolen power as a major service to clients. But, restoring wholeness—the overarching intent of the work—means also assisting the client to transform the energy locked in their beliefs and perceptions of how things are not ok and why that is so. And how can I do that for them if I don't do it for myself?
What you teach you learn is evermore true as I practice intent intent intent, and actually shift the burden of negative thinking off my weary, come-from-a-long-line-of-critical-worriers shoulders. Shamanic work definitely assists with this, as do my retreats and stuff. But personal intent and practice, and noticing your own thoughts and beliefs, with a little helpful info, must be part of anyone's path to freedom, reclaiming your power, your mind, your energy, your dreams.
So, the article that popped up today might be news you can use for this practice. It's from Gwyneth Paltrow's Goop site, and even from what appears to be a relative of her fiancé, not that it matters. It's the information and how clearly it is stated that grabbed my attention. After a very successful night of personal negative-thinking re-patterning, I wanted to offer something to you, for your weekend reflection and daily practices.
What happens in your mind when you read this: Negativity and negative intentions are distorted energy and consciousness. They originate in part as a reaction to pain. Negativity is our blame and judgment, our selfishness, pessimism, self-righteousness, cruelty, and apathy. Negative intentions are the parts of us that want to punish or humiliate, that don’t want to give, that give to get, that won’t receive, that won’t see the other person beyond our own needs, that won’t reveal our vulnerability, that won’t surrender. Subtle or obvious, our negativity and negative intentions create suffering because they are distortions—and our distortions keep us separate from ourselves and others.
That is a quote from Aimee Falchuck, from this interview. You may find the discussion helpful in your personal energy wrangling.
Since I'm an energy wrangler—and it's all about energy, and intent, which is the directing of energy—her clarity in that first sentence got my attention. Our childhood/adolescent reactions to pain create negative patterns and perceptions that we find ourselves using over and over, from looking in the mirror to responding to situations or certain people or events. But the negativity slant is like responding to a distorted mirror or garbled recording of something happening. We're perceiving something that is not as we perceive it, and hurting ourselves again in the process, trying to avoid pain. We are suffering and creating suffering.
Transforming our own negativity before going ballistic at the negativity and negative intentions of others (yes, I used a weapons-based word there on purpose) has more peacekeeping capability than a comment thread smackdown ever could. That we have the power—not the person or event or circumstance—to alter that distortion, is key to not suffering. And maybe to peace in our hearts and in the world. Feeling good about yourself, less provoked by what you perceive as bad stuff from others, sleeping more, and creating world peace as the bonus. All free and available for you 24/7.
Happy Saturday! Take the day off, in your mind at least. Rest. Oh, and, Robert Preston played Harold Hill. I knew it was Robert somebody!
Greetings of the season of light returning! Here we are in the final dark days, just before the turning back toward the light in our planetary dance around the sun. As we all know, the darkest hour is just before the dawn, and since tonight is the New Moon (10:30pm PST) today is the lunar turning, as Thursday 12/21 is the solar turning Winter Solstice.
I am always relieved when the days begin to get longer, just like the ancestors were. They celebrated the return of the light and also marked the beginning of deep winter on the Solstice, because it's good to get some light and warmth and comfort food and cheer going, happy memories and fellowship to see us through.
This year is darker than usual, making keeping spirits bright challenging. One thing this particular week—down to Solstice on Thursday, then through the Christmas weekend—has going for it is the natural energy of deep stillness. If you're rushing around to get stuff and go to things you'll need to be mindful of your energy and others', as many rushing around you are not actually present, and there are lots more fender benders and the like. Being present helps your spatial awareness and sensitive radar detect things before they happen. Also to see angels in disguise, helpful elves, magical beasts, crystals that are calling out to you and so on.
People also come down with colds and things. Our bodies implore us to take it slow and easy, drop and ground, rest and relax. Staying present and mindful with your energy, cultivating stillness and giving yourself many moments of silent wonder, and not overloading your schedule will keep you centered, grounded, and aware, which is really the best present you can give yourself and everyone around you. My blog post from December 2014 (wow 3 years ago already!) has more on that.
You know how to do it, and you don't need to make it a to-do list. It's relaxing, inspiring, and magical in fact, to breathe slowly and deeply, enjoying the crisp air. To take a walk to gather some wild holly, visit the ducks, hug trees or look at the sky. It's lovely to play with your fairy lights and decorations, make delicious things appear in your kitchen, even just a fragrant cup of tea. It's uplifting to dream of what you love, create something to give to another, write your secret wishes and tuck them in your stocking or into a tree.
Leaving little natural offerings to spirits is jolly good fun, and the spirits appreciate your good wishes and intent. We're accustomed to making lists of what we want, both to give and receive, at this time. The balance of leaving offerings to the spirits—not to ask for anything—but to say hello I love you I'm so glad you are here in this world with me is part of developing relationships with the helpers, core shamanic practice. Practical magic.
Once I asked live oaks on my land in Malibu what they wanted, and they said cornbread! So I made some corn bread, and went around the acreage, leaving a little square at each tree. They loved it! The grove turned magical and then some! So feel free to ask; you may be surprised at the response. It also develops your ability to be present, tune in, and connect with the beings around you.
The week following is that betwixt and between time that this liminal girl loves, when time slows down and there's free space for whatever your soul wants... quiet time, sleep, reading, reflection, shedding, just stopping and tuning in to the subtle return of the light.
And I will shamelessly mention here that although my January 13th women's day retreat is mostly full, we'll be doing this intent thing, this being present stuff, this powerful vibration raising magic, and it's not too late to join us, by going here. Solstice blessings to one and all!
I do divinations, which, technically, is any form of divining. I mostly use runes, various decks of cards, and ogham sticks, and intuitively do bird, cloud, and water auguries for what's what.
I still have my yarrow stalks and I Ching from 1970, with stains of cred on its hand-stitched cloth covering. I was just a girl in the woods then, and I don't do the long process of the yarrow stalks for hexagrams these days.
It's an ancient gig, being an oracle, augurer, or reader of signs. It goes with the territory of being a seer. Traditionally, it's been summoned for foretelling the future. Myths of old are full of it. Usually, the oracle is obscure AF and the king or whoever misinterprets it, and goes to great lengths to keep it from coming true; all of whose efforts, in fact, bring it about. I love that irony.
As a shamanic practitioner, I often get asked what will happen? or what should I do? types of queries, and that's what this blog post circles: I'm not a fortune teller. And you don't want to think about your destiny or your future in those terms anyway. It doesn't really work that way.
Outcome—any outcome—depends on a lot of interconnected actions in a lot of interconnected worlds in a lot of interconnected dimensions in a lot of interconnected multiverses. Quantum physicists will back me up on this. The field of possibilities is endless, and the person who asks for guidance receives, from a divination done truly, information that can be helpful in navigating the energies of the time. As we move in the direction of our chosen wish, goal, or outcome, many things come into play, and our decisions and actions ping off them, creating more possible outcomes.
Often, what we thought was our desired outcome turns out to have been something to steer towards, attracting our energy, that instead brought us into play with other factors and forces that move us forward in what we might call destiny. Being aware of the energies present and available to us at any given time is really the salient feature of divination, from my energy wrangler job description.
I did a divination this week for my birthday: I like to check in and see what energy patterns are affecting my life, and birthday energy zings up the silica in us and activates more DNA stuff. These days, my go-to long divination method is the 15 card Thoth deck spread. It's comprehensive, to say the least. The cards are beautiful and highly symbolic, packed with meaning.
What I really like about the spread are the patterns of energy that can be seen in the quincunx. A quincunx—one of my favorite words—is a pattern or alignment of four points of a square with a point in the center of the square, making five points. Three-card groups are drawn in a quincunx pattern. I won't go into each card's significance here. The energy patterns of each card, and the patterns in relation to the cards in its triad, and its positioning in the quincunx, are powerful, palpable, and memorable.
The art of divination is exactly that—an art. While you can get a deck and a book and use them, reading the complex patterns of energy that interconnect, and being able to synthesize that energy into an oracle that will be useful to the client, relating to their query, or concern, takes a bit of mastery, and the intuitive powers of the practitioner.
In my case, the patterns start lighting up and moving and singing and showing me in many different channels what is available, what is transforming or can transform, what can come and what can go; what is being asked of you—the client, and what you might not be aware of. Interpreting and articulating that to you well is part of the art.
It's all energy, as noted on my welcome page. What you do with the energy and the information and your capabilities and desires at any given moment is up to you and free will and intent, belief and courage. What outcomes are possible are myriad. What is possible is, well, open. Knowing you have energies and forces of the Universe within you and without you supporting your quest is empowering. Being aware of energies that you're susceptible to, and fears/beliefs you hold that block or entice your actions, is empowering. Knowledge is power!
Scientia potentia est
It's that spooky time of year again. Here on Vashon Island, the leaves are blazing, as the rain, wind and water shift colors and moods. Fall is my favorite season, and a major reason I live in this latitude. Watching the light go, and the seasons change is a big part of why I'm here on this planet. Dreaming is off the charts.
My birthday is around this time, as is my niece's; I tell her we have the fairy blood in the family. We have the sight.
She was born on Samhain (SOW-in) precisely. I was born at sunrise on the new moon, making me a triple Scorpio, with one foot in this world and the other in, well, the other. Very good for this work. I'm a liminal girl, circling the edges and bridging thresholds.
This turning of the year is celebrated multiculturally with harvest feasts combined with honoring the dead. We're heading into the dark days—unless you live in the Southern Hemisphere, where it's reversed. We want to survive them, are grateful for the harvest we've brought in to get us through, and pay homage to ancestors and loved ones departed, who've helped us live while they've gone ahead. Plus, we want to allay any spirits who may be out and about, looking for interplay. Sometimes disguises are a sort of test of our goodwill; shapeshifting seems more normal, as we all think of who or what we want to be for Halloween. Maybe this year I'll be a poem. Or a heron. Or a Pictish warrior queen.
The Celtic day begins at sunset, so Samhain begins at sunset on October 31st and goes through November 1st to sunset. If you're interested, here's the info on Samhain from the source: Newgrange, the ancient site in Ireland, where it all happened.
The veil between the worlds really is thin at this time of year, take it from someone who feels and sees such things strongly. This means you might be aware of the other side more than usual.
I do my own thing, no one ritual or observance, but a mashup of the cultures I've lived around: giving offerings at the local Dia de Los Muertos altar, enjoying squash soup and candy corn, toasting and thanking my ancestors for the life that runs through my veins and DNA—and all they went through to keep the family line going. I reach out to the invisible—which I do daily anyway, in this work—honor my guides and helpers, journey for insight, listen for messages.
It's an amazing time to do divinations, journeys, house clearings, all forms of shamanic work.
Taking time to tune in to the energy of a moment that captures your attention is an excellent way to open to your inner senses and feel the magic. You may have dreams, insights, intuitions, memories or premonitions. You may feel presences of invisible beings, hear or see things that aren't technically there. Stop, tune in, listen, look, feel, and let your soul connect to what it feels. Don't be available for predatory energies; stay grounded and centered and fearless.
There are many dimensions to the universe, and we dwell in many simultaneously. Like walking around with a radio, tho I know it's an old form of transmission. Tuning into different frequencies lets you receive different information, hear that music and connect to different things going on at the same time. We are receivers, and also transmitters. We are seers and dreamers and want to feel the magic, the positive power of this life we're living.
Let me know if you want to do some work, and we'll do it.
Samhain blessings and may the force be with you.
The line, from poet William Carlos Williams is In summer, the song sings itself. But I like it shortened to the title of this blog post. Either way, you get the idea. The soft breezes of summer, the dappled light, the blue blue sky and waters, the winged things cruising and floating and flitting, the stars and sunsets and twilight indigo that thrills me every time. And maybe, tonight, here on Vashon Island, maybe even a glimpse of the Aurora Borealis, courtesy of a major solar event, It's all part of the dreaming we swim in, the song that sings itself.
Dreaming is traditionally undervalued in our work hard, make stuff, buy stuff, be somebody civilization, while simultaneously being honored in art, music and stories everywhere we look. Even there, often it's a thing to struggle to keep alive; as in keep the dream alive, hang on to your dreams, etc. We're taught to push ourselves through our days, weeks, lives, to meet goals. It creates a lot of friction as we push through, and anything we hadn't foreseen appears as an obstacle in our path. Or a failure. Irritating.
I've always been a dreamer. I was born that way, and that's how I roll. Most important life changes have first appeared to me in dreams. As I've given myself over more and more to dreaming as a full time practice, as my real job, the more I'm able to relax into dreaming—awake, asleep, or in journeying—the easier it is to stay in the dreaming field and be present. The more you look the more you see is a bit of guidance I was given recently while dreaming awake. On the audio channel, then, the more you listen the more you hear. Including summer singing itself, and dreaming you up with it.
Things I saw this week include a little Rumi poem that goes
When I run after what I think I want,
My days are a furnace of distress and anxiety;
If I sit in my own place of patience,
What I need flows to me,
And without any pain.
From this I understand that
What I want also wants me,
Is looking for me
And attracting me;
When it cannot attract me
Any more to go to it,
It has to come to me.
There is a great secret
In this for anyone
Who can grasp it.
I stumbled over it—or it dreamed me up—exactly at a perfect time in my dreaming up reality, aka getting shit done without losing heart. I applied it to my hypnopompic state: that liminal zone when you're waking up but not fully awake. It's my favorite state, and I've talked about how I allow myself to stay in the drift and let dreams linger and process. But with this advice from Rumi, I allowed myself to give over fully to my occupation as dreamer, as my modus operandi for real, and found a subtle but remarkable shift occur.
You know, the way you 'shake off' your dreaming to get going; how you shift into waking life with a bit of a push, some adrenaline, like you stayed in dreaming too long and are now behind on what you're supposed to be getting done. I let that go completely. I am allowing dreaming to be real in that way, and to relax about the shift between realities more than ever. It's making a significant difference in my Being, in being able to carry the dreaming consciousness into the day with grace, into feeling soft and plugged in to the field of infinite possibilities Deepak Chopra talks about, from which you dream up whatever you want. Applying Rumi's 'great secret' you let its wanting you as you want it to guide it to you, and welcome its arrival.
In journeying sessions with clients, I observe the energy that begins moving around them as we talk about their concerns and wishes. That guides the intent we create for the journey. The intent then guides where the journey takes me, and the work the helpers show me to do. As an energy wrangler, I am shown what energies need wrangling at this time, and the universe works through me. It's all energy.
As shaman Viejo Itza said to John Perkins, in his book Shapeshifting: Shamanic Techniques for Global and Personal Transformation:
"It all boils down to a question of energy. Energy. It is everything. We are energy. The earth, the trees down there, this pyramid. The universe. Energy. That is all there is to it. The shapeshifter believes she can influence her relationship with the physical world. Therefore, she can. It is only a matter of energy. And belief. And one more thing. Intent. If we understand that everything is energy, it is easy to understand the importance of intent. How can you influence energy without first intending to do so?"
This is the multicultural essence, or the core shamanic tenet. In the book Healing with Form, Energy and Light: the Five Elements in Tibetan Shamanism, Tantra and Dzogchen by Tenzin Wangyal Rinpoche, he writes:
"In the shamanic view, the soul abides in the heart center in the central channel. The soul is not healed until the energy is brought into the subtlest level of experience. The sign of accomplishment in the practice is that the whole being is affected. The more strongly you can generate the experiences in the practice, the more profound the effects will be."
Restoring wholeness is the accomplishment of shamanic work, and practice. It is the overarching aim of energy wrangling with belief and intent in a profound way. In doing this work, this practice, the energy moves through the practitioner. Being in a dreaming state 24/7 allows this to happen fluidly with grace and ease. There is no big shift needed from belief in ordinary reality to opening to non-ordinary reality, which is expanded in dimensions and has different laws of physics, space and time. By allowing myself to give over fully to being a dreamer I am deepening my work and advancing my practice. Instead of there being a contradiction between work and dreaming, it is one and the same.
Arnold Mindell suddenly appeared last night on the news feed in a rare little video his partner Amy shot while they walked through a forest, saying Don't forget, the dreaming comes first! His showing up, 'live' as it were, right then, to affirm the dreaming comes first, was a synchronicity of the first magnitude. I commented to him on it, and included the Rumi poem and my shift, and he affirmed it again. That energy from him is priceless to me, and he also got an instant affirmation from me as the universe 'getting it' and being grateful for his message.
So, kids, as you enjoy your Sunday singing itself, remember: the dreaming comes first. Let yourself dream up what you want, without the ifs ands and buts or the how am I where do I what do I s enter into your process. Dream all you want. Know that what you want wants you. Believe and intend and relax. And dream some more. And let summer sing itself.
Happy June to you! I am finding the butterflies, flowers, birds, blue skies and all very uplifting and hope you are too. In this time of strange realities, I'm also finding it imperative to cultivate stillness and develop my fifth dimensional mind skills.
I've blogged about Being Your Multidimensional Self before (just scroll down a ways you'll find it), and it's more handy than ever these days, as third dimensional heaviness feels heavier than ever with the swirl of negative energies being promoted 24/7.
Luckily, we have helpers—visible and invisible—to assist, encourage, guide, and remind us that we can claim the world, and our lives, for the Love+Light Joy brigade. It's a choice, and we are the choosers, in this free will exercise with energy.
If you're like me (and I know I am :) the daily now what is stressful and overwhelming sometimes. Well, more than sometimes. Empaths and highly sensitive people are feeling the strain. Being aware of when it's altering your energy field is not only good self-care, but it keeps you from tanking or going to the Dark Side in anger or fear. We are getting a master class in impermanence, uncertainty, and the fact that everything changes. There's been helpful teachings on living with uncertainty from many sources (Pema Chodron comes to mind as one.) Change is the only constant, and we can live with that. In fact, since we have no choice, it's wise to choose to live with it with grace and ease. See what I did there? It can be light, magical, and more like flying than a world-weary freaking sort of dread. We can learn to play with reality and dreaming up instead of reacting to headlines and memes.
The Dalai Lama says never give up, no matter what is happening. He reminds us in the West to develop the heart. Develop peace in your heart and in the world. Developing stillness does this, and is an excellent way to disconnect from the madness and connect to the heart of the planet, and the heart of the galaxy, through the hearts we have within. Being still and getting your connect feels so good, informing the physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual bodies and restoring wholeness. Our souls get nourished with this connect, and we can hear their voice guiding us on our soul path.
As medium Paul Selig (whom I was fortunate to have as my MFA director before his channeled texts went global) teaches through his guides, the time is right and the guides are here to help us claim the world, our knowing and worth, use our love and creation to attain mastery of truth, and basically, save the world and our own lives by holding the higher frequencies humans can now hold. But we have to do it, to choose it, to claim it, and keep claiming it with our hearts, minds, words, and actions, despite appearances and agenda pushing that tries very forcefully to keep us swirling.
Mired in samsara is how one client said she's been feeling lately, and that's very apt. It's easy to get stuck, and it's easy to be swamped into not feeling well or dreaming up the life and world you actually want. As if you have no choice. It's amazing, tho, when you do! You can uplift your thoughts, words, and actions to 5th dimensional dreaming up more easily, with practice, than grappling with trying to change old patterns and conditioning by simply remembering to do so, and go! This is the idea of claiming. Claim it! Claim the world you dream, the life you dream.
I claim love and light, grace and ease, health and wealth, truth and beauty, unity and harmony, knowledge and power, rest and relaxation, spirit and soul, heart+mind working together for a one world new earth in which all beings are loved and cared for, including Gaia herself. Including me. The more you claim what you are dreaming up the more your energy moves to it and it to you.
I use my shamanic practices and crystal medicine (the crystalline energy is SO helpful for this at this time, lifesaving in fact), nature time, lucid dreaming, rest and relaxation, breathing and stillness practices, along with claiming in thought and speech and writing, and helpful information from an array of sources. I can feel my vibration rising, my head changing, my symptoms being alleviated, my energy stabilizing, my attitude improving, and my optimism growing exponentially, and that moves energy for dreaming up the world with real power. It's fun and feels good, and I only need to remember to do it. Here I go again. Powering up! Together we hold space and create in this beautiful universe. We are loved and supported more than we know. A swallowtail butterfly told me so.
The world has changed since my last blog post. The shift of power from election night shockwaves to the daily machinations of the madmen, ransackers, warmongers, and haters currently in power are creating havoc as part of an agenda that threatens all life. The old playbook and its players are back, in our country this time, gleefully destroying what we hold dear and need to live in balance, peace, safety and freedom, as if channeling Voldemort himself.
Less than two months in, many of us are feeling the fatigue of being pinged into constant anger and fear at the bombast of lies and foul deeds. This agenda activates our deepest fears, as it is designed to do. The agendas of the last ditch efforts of, let's call it the Dark Side, to keep control over the people and resources of the planet uses the energies of fear, confusion, chaos, destruction, lies, perversion, and just plain bad hombre intent to ransack the globe. You can do your part to foil their nefarious plans, help the earth heal, and feel way better as you do by releasing old fears and fear activators at this time. To encourage this noble enterprise, I offer a Releasing Fear Series package.
Our fields, cells, DNA and subtle bodies hold many types of fear. There's DNA-held fears from previous regimes in history—from previous lifetimes or family cellular memory of WWII on back; personal fears of enslavement, survival, and safety; societal fears of otherness, exclusion, apocalypse, dystopian futures, you name it. They're all surfacing in us with such palpable force many cannot sleep at night and can't disengage from the latest barrage of bad news to center and balance.
Being in anger and fear all the time is not healthy, and exactly what the agenda wants. As any Buddhist or Taoist, Dune or Star Wars fan knows, fear and anger lead to the Dark Side. Basically anger is a highly activated form of fear. The opportunity to transform, ease, and release those core fears is the silver lining in these crazy awful times. It's also a major superpower in the turning of the energy back to love+light. It's your magic wand. It's using the Force. It's la piece de la résistance.
So let's get to it. Being terrified and pissed off is exhausting. So, what works? Shamanic work to the rescue! Of course it is not the only way, but it's what I do.
In our sessions, focusing on your personal concerns, we allow your fears to be articulated, and in the journey I follow threads of energy back to their origin. Not just fears of the world, whatever is coming up for you in your life. There's love and caring in DNA-held ancestor messages, meant to help you have a better life than they did, through their story of struggle. But they present as ominous warnings of disaster with a big fear load and a strong emotional effect. The transformation often comes with an emotional charge that brings tears, like on Finding Your Roots, as you understand your ancestors, and yourself, in a new light. We don't have to repeat those harsh scenarios, but it feels like we do until we unpack the encoded information.
Some fears are there, in you, like a recorded loop, waiting for you to be ready to retrieve your energy and power from your past trauma and experiences, whether in this life or another. Shamans have done this retrieval work for many thousands of years. It's not like therapy or life coaching, it's more energetic and experiential in nature. Clients often find recurring fear-based patterns that play out in relationship, money, or health problems originate in their own past life experiences. They feel sort of doomed to repeat scenarios they know aren't supposed to be happening again. Following those threads back down the line to their origin helps transform that pattern, retrieves the lost power and energy, and brings deep insight into your soul path.
Flower and/or gemstone essences are very helpful in this work. One of my medicine gifts is being told, clairaudiently, which vibrational essences are needed during a journey for a client. It's different than matching symptoms to an indexed reference, and the helpers are quite astonishing in their acumen. I am finding these to be extremely valuable in the releasing fears work, and a perfect bridge between session energetic components and physical medicine. I provide the link to the essences in the journey notes you receive, and you order them yourself. They are inexpensive, harmless used with any other medication, and transformative in a magical, soothing way.
Working on transforming core fears now is key personal life-directing, planet-saving action. To encourage this important work, I offer a Releasing Fear Series package--remote or in-person it matters not. Because doing this work requires more than a single session. Order a series of 4 sessions (2 hours each) and pay just $140/session (instead of $160). We'll schedule them as you need/want throughout 2017, to change fear to fearlessness, retrieve energy and power, and free you from obstacles that block your happiness and soul path. Love+Light!